Sketchbook: art process + brain weather.
CHILD OF THE COSMOS
I've always been called to the stars. That infinite, irresistible search for the insatiable unknown, the mystery of our fading light, has had such a grasp on my imagination and the urge to discover more about this life. I've wondered how much courage it takes for an astronaut to leave everything behind, their family and friends, their comfort zone, their own home and everything they've ever known, in favor of unraveling the puzzles that blanket our skies every night. I've shaped my artistic life to explore the possibilities of where, or how far, my flowering ideas and creative passion can take me. One of my online monikers is the "missing cosmonaut", a reference to the tragic Russian space travelers who were sent out to orbit with faulty equipment in a hurry to beat the U.S. in the space race. But it's also emblematic of that need to leave my cozy nest, that commitment and conviction to venture physically outwards into unknown lands while spiritually diving deeper into myself. ♥
LIVE MODELING FOR AN ARTIST
On August 1st, 2023 I had the great honor of posing for one of my favorite artists, Chicome Itzcuintli Amatlapantli, or better known by his artistic moniker Mi Corazón Mexica as well as Felix D’eon, who’s work I’ve admired for years. Never really having an interest in modeling, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity while he stayed in town during his artist residency at Tom of Finland.
Chicome warmly opened his world and allowed me to film his process and dive inside his mind as I interviewed him for a short documentary on the struggle of identifying as mixed race, Indigenous and queer. He also took part in a community art market I curated in July where I gathered many of my beloved and talented friends.
They say beware of meeting your idols, but I feel incredibly fortunate to say this and many of my personal heroes have been the most wonderful souls with the kindest of hearts. Collaborate with your friends, join forces with your favorite artists, your heroes. When it's all set and done you'll look back and feel grateful to have blended minds with all the greats, because you’re one of them too.
CELEBRATING OUR SENSUALITY IS HEALING
To climb the steps of our sorrows is to conquer the traumas deeply inflicted in our consciousness. If I could help facilitate a sex positive conversation about reclaiming and embracing our identity through art, I think I’d utilize a particular tool my ancestors passed on to me to give back to the community.
Nurture and nourish your spirit with things that make you fall in love with you in order to resonate that warmth around you. The profound connection we feel with the land and its resources is just as essential as the one we feel for each other, how it makes our bodies vibrate and our minds sing when we make love by softly touching each other's souls. That is true magic.
WHY DO YOU SPEAK TO YOUR ANCESTORS?
When I began diving into my roots and reflecting my journey in my art, I thought I was helping to save the culture. My dad reminded me, or corrected me, that the culture was in fact saving me. I cannot thank my ancestors enough for the inspiration, drive, talent and discipline they have instilled in me. It’s what fuels my daily world, what empowers my soul and what nurtures my spirit. For that, I owe them my life.
I listen to them speak to me, gently but firmly, through the wonderful ideas that blossom from my heart, through the people who affect me and the way I have come to impact those around me. I try to listen to what I’m becoming, how I’m blooming. I want to do my guiding stars proud as they shine through me. I must continue their path while forging my own, assuring our lifeline is present now and tomorrow.
WATERCOLOR PAINTING
Drawing figures from your imagination can be incredibly satisfying, but there’s something about utilizing yourself as a reference that adds a much deeper personal touch to an art piece. From there, you can get as inventive as you can.
Here’s a watercolor painting I did of Nezahualcóyotl, the a scholar, philosopher, warrior, architect, poet and tlatoani (ruler) of the city-state of Texcoco in pre-invasion era Mexico.
It’s important to have people you love in your life and to invest in the lives of others who support you emotionally and are there for you. But I think there was a period in my life when I didn’t care if I was alone. I just wanted to make art. ― Laurel Nakadate
WHAT CONNECTS YOU TO OTHERS?
There’s something special about creating art with others. It’s something that, when all the colors are blending in harmony, can elevate and strengthen the connection I feel with my own soul; to find the comfort to speak on a louder setting so others can hear.
As an introvert, I prefer my solitude. But what happens when other like-minds allow me to open up and let my spirit hold hands with theirs? The creativity that sparks is unfathomable, unpredictable and unlimited. When a bond is in true unison, we become a creative family with the ability to travel farther distances than one individual ever could.
Art is my favorite language to communicate.
Photo by Mayela-Yaoxochitl
PAPÁ ― TAHTLI
The pandemic gave me a unique opportunity to connect with my dad. I've always felt our bond could be better, more involved. I do not know where he lives, where he sleeps or where he has his morning breakfast. I don't know the names of the strange family members he's growing older with. These mysteries persist, and yet, I still get a chance to discover him a little better. Me being his first born, I felt special when he trusted me with something significant during the pandemic. I pay tribute to him with this piece, not as the man he's been, but as the honorable father he's developing into and the man he's helped me become. He had me at such a young age, and inexperience breeds mistakes in order to distill true growth and evolution.
I never wanted to listen to him when he told me to connect with my culture. I didn't like him telling me what my art should be about. But after all these years of reflection and introspection, I realize he always had a point. It is crucial that we discover who we are by exploring where we came from. Who were our ancestors? In this watercolor painting, I depict myself as a 1 year old with my 23 year old dad, based on my favorite photo of us. Only this time, we are fully embracing our roots as indigenous caretakers of our land as he holds me close.
The title of this piece is Tahtli, the Nahuatl translation for father.
HOW DO YOU HONOR YOUR NAME?
This year, someone asked me for my name.
I said, “Polaris… like the star.”
They replied, "Le haces honor a tu nombre?" - "Do you honor your name?" and I stood there and reflected on a lot, the work that I do, what I hope to accomplish, and wondered if I really did my name justice. It reminded me that the name chose me, like a guiding light, my bright star, to strive higher every time I embody its identity, its purpose. Every time I sign my name on a finished piece, I want to be proud that the message will touch someone profoundly, that it will inspire others as much as inspiration circulates through me.
I fell in love with art for its power to tell stories, a sacred ritual in our community that our ancestors utilized to pass on their way of life. There is no greater gift than that of storytelling. It’s how we continue on our traditions and wisdom. That’s why I picked up a pencil and let my soul be fluttered by the stars, nature and history. My greatest honor would be to call myself a storyteller.
WHAT CONNECTS YOU TO YOURSELF?
There is no greater gift than that of storytelling. It’s how we pass on our traditions, our wisdom, our love. That’s why I picked up a pencil and let myself be inspired by the stars, nature and history. My greatest honor would be to call myself a storyteller.
Storytelling, in any shape or form, is what brings me closer to myself in every way that I know. In exploring parables with images or words, I feel my soul dive deeper into who I am and what I want to say. What’s my message? What’s my take on life? Why do I feel the need to say anything at all? Today, I feel my creative outlet is something my ancestors passed on to me, and it’s my duty to honor that.
What’s something you are honored of having?
WHAT CONNECTS YOU TO YOUR ROOTS?
I love excavating romantic connections on sacred grounds like an archaeologist unearthing ancient monoliths, capable of withstanding centuries of burial.
This is how powerful our bonds are. The strength of our ancestor's love for each other and the world that nurtured us is everlasting. It's our duty to withhold what outsiders tried to shun; to let them know our roots will always crack through the concrete.
I feel honored to able to use my hands as a tool to create spiritually healing art for myself, and hopefully for others. You can find a variety of my work for sale on my shop or commission a special request of something you'd like to see. I cherish my interactions with folks to be able to represent our cultures as beautifully as we all are.